I hate this feeling..What do you call this again, Bruce? A feeling that should never be named?
I want to erase him from my mind....but how?
He's everywhere I go...We live in one classroom..along with a close friend of his [whom is a girl] but I won't name names...
It's not that I'm Jealing about it...We're not even in a relationship..It's just that I'm having a hard time with myself that I can't almost concentrate on my studies...which is a bad thing...I need to do something about this problem..
I just want to talk to him like we would always do before I told him that I had a crush on him...
I'm good at giving advices to my friends with their love problems but why can't I even help myself...???
If only I had a magical memory eraser...I would gladly erase evey memory of him from my mind..
Everywhere I look, all I see is him..from morning 'til afternoon...and he sits in the front row with ************** *************** and his other friends while I sit at the back row and from where I sit, I have this full view of him...and I don't want to always see him...
Yeah, he's tall and stands out from all his friends because of his height...but there's these big questions in my mind that's been bothering lately...
"Why in Hera's name would my heart start jumping if I see him? "
"Why do I want to know where he his house really is located?" [since his house is just a few blocks away from school]
"Why in Hera's name would I want to know who the hell his cush is?"
Damn this feeling...Whatever this feeling's name is..I hate it so bad....
If only I could ask him just one serious question..but that would be impossible....very impossible.... He only talks to me if I talk to him first...and its such a waste of time
Why do I always try to impress myself to him when I know he'll never bother to look...
and sometimes I would see him steal glances [at me] ..and I would always catch him..but is he really looking at me or at someone else...???
Even though I feel like wanting to cry...I won't cause it won't solve anything at all...That I've learned from Diana...
From now on, I should let my mind rule over my heart..because right now my heart's not really in its normal state..
All I know is that he could, should and would never become mine...
Evrytime I see his name...it's like it always stands out form the other words...really making me want to shout out loud and say...."Why won't you leave me alone?"
You want to know his name???
Well, I'd rather keep to myself "Dan" share it to you...
I can't even stand seeing his name...everytime i see it, hear it or mention it...My heart just beats 30 beats per second...can that even be impossible?? yeah..if you're feeling what I'm feeling right now....
I can even memorize the smell of his perfume...and it's not a pleasant smell for me....it has this strong smell that will really tell that he's a guy...
All I want is for just One day, I won't be able to see him, hear him....or even know that he's presence is there...
No matter what I do...no matter how I try to act normal when he's around..My heart just won't stay and act like it normally does...
My "Unnamed feeling" story is like Batman's or like Bruce Wayne's...
He has this feeling in him but he just doesn't want to admit..
Believe me, I've adapted a lot of Bruce's attitudes...most of his attitudes and some of his sayings I've applied in my life...That's how I love Batman so much...and Diana as well...
Well even the first letter of his name and mine start with Bruce and Diana's name..
But like what Bruce said..."I don't believe in coincidence"
and I agree...
Everything has a purpose and God always has a will....let it be done
Still, I do wish to have that memory eraser...=]
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